Top 10 Archive

September 29, 2008
Top 10 reasons why the government says there is no humanitarian crisis despite thousands of people dislocated due to the war in Mindanao:
10. they think ‘humanitarians’ are people who eat humans
9. a crisis for them is only that which directly threatens GMA’s presidency
8. as a matter of practice, they need to say one unbelievable lie every other week
7. people flee the country regularly, so people who flee but still stay within the country is a good sign to them
6. compared to the state of the entire nation, then it really is not a crisis
5. they swear Mindanao no longer exists as they signed it away in favor of the Bangsamoro Homeland
4. if there’s no lost income for them, then there’s no crisis
3. they’re already used to making pronouncements regardless of people’s incredulity
2. if the presidential election was not fraudulent, if the NBN-ZTE was a clean deal, if there’s no such thing as a fertilizer or agricultural scam, then of course, there’s no humanitarian crisis
1. if they created the problem, its not a crisis

September 1, 2008
Top 10 ways Filipinos can win an Olympic medal:
10. migrate to China
9. propose that malling be an Olympic sport
8. let the POC take over the IOC
7. have the Philippines host the Olympics
6. let the COMELEC handle the medal tally
5. make karaoke singing an Olympic sport
4. grant citizenship to Phelps whether or not he wants it
3. inform our soldiers that actual leftists are targets in the shooting events
2. instead of farmers and activists, have our soldiers kidnap the Chinese diving team
1. junk federalism and give up sovereignty to China

August 25, 2008
Top 10 of the government’s favorite sports:
10. Constitutional Gymnastics
9. Trapoline
8. No Platform Diving
7. 4x100Hr Delay
6. Lootball
5. Dayathlon
4. Kleptathlon
3. 100M stash
2. Sequesterian
1. Synchronized Scheming

Click for The Top 9 alternative 2007 MMFF films